Sparring is an important aspect in the development of the striking skills of your kids as they learn self-defense, kickboxing, boxing, and other striking martial arts. In terms of striking, sparring is defined as the practice of striking skills between two practitioners without the risk of landing heavy blows as a means to win, knockout, or injure your practice partner. Sparring allows your kids to practice their striking technique in as close to real-world situations as possible. In the words of the ancient stoic philosopher Seneca “If you want a man to keep his head when the crisis comes you must give him some training before it comes.”
I began teaching my kids the basics of boxing and kickboxing by showing them first how to properly punch, how to fight out of the orthodox stance, how to throw jabs, crosses, and hooks, how to move around the ring, introduction to kicks, and finally how to block kicks and punches. Only after weeks of practice and where I felt they had gotten a good foundational understanding of the basics did I introduce sparring.
My kids were a 7-year-old girl and a 9-year-old boy when we began sparring. Sparring only consists of me sparring against one of them and I’ve yet to allow them to spar each other. Sparring with my kids has helped them improve their striking skills by leaps and bounds and overall has made them more confident in their physical abilities and I’m sure will help them in their day to day lives as they face the challenges the world will undoubtedly throw their way. Read on to learn more about sparring with your kids and the approaches I take when practicing begging sparring with my kids.
Benefits of your kids practicing sparring
There are many benefits to sparring including developing speed and timing, developing confidence, body conditioning, and self-control.
Speed and timing
Practicing by shadow boxing and hitting the bag is fundamental to developing striking skills, but the game is played in a whole different world when your opponent is moving and trying to hit you at the same time. There is not a good practical way to experience the speed and timing of throwing, blocking, and evading strikes like your kids get with sparring. Sparring allows your kids to tie together their punches, kicks, blocks, and foot movement all at once.
Body Conditioning
Sparring is an excellent cardio and strength workout. Sparring is hard and is taxing on the cardiovascular system as you are moving constantly, holding your arms and hands up constantly, and tensioning muscles to block and throw strikes. Sparring is a full-body workout and many of the muscles used to strike and block are developed through regular sparring sessions. Another body conditioning aspect that gets developed over time with sparring is the ability of the body to absorb flex and absorb strikes without surprise or impeding reaction.
Developing Confidence
In self-defense situations, stress can reach high levels and an untrained kid may buckle under the pressure not be able to defend themselves. Sparring gives a small dose of fight or flight stress and with practice can help build confidence to face stress and power through tough points if and when they happen. Being cool, calm, and composed can make the difference in a self-defense situation allowing yourself the time to think and react in a way with the highest probability of a good outcome.
At what age should your kids begin sparring?
This is a hotly debated question with no real direct answer in my opinion. It depends on the situation and skill level of the practitioner and coach/parent doing the sparring. When I spar with my kids the strikes are thrown with very minimal force and pulled at the point of impact so no shots hurt to any degree. The whole point of sparring with my kids is so that they get a sense of what it’s like having punches and kicks coming their way and it allows them to work on their foundational striking, blocking, and footwork technique. In this vein I think you can start kids out as young as 4, getting them interested in punching and blocking. I bought my son his first boxing gloves at age 5 and I first began sparring with my kids when they were 7 and 9.
I am a firm believer in the recent emergence of chronic traumatic encephalopathy or CTE which is brain degeneration by repeated blows to the head. I’ve spent a good amount of time sparring in my martial arts history with and without headgear. After particularly long hard sessions I’ve experienced cloudiness and headaches the following day. After experiencing this a few times I stopped regular sparring as I wasn’t looking to be a professional fighter. To keep my skills sharp I still occasionally spar with experienced practitioners and only at light sparring levels always with headgear.
For my kids, I always stress that they should take no head trauma in sparring or other contact sports until they are at an age where they can decide for themselves if full contact sparring or other contact sports is worth the risk. When we spar it is always with me and I do not allow my kids to spar each other to mitigate shots to the head. When I spar with my kids it is the lights of blows that are thrown by me and I never land straight to the head with any level of force.
What equipment should you use to spar with your kids?
When your kids are young, all they need are small pair of boxing gloves for them and a pair of gloves for yourself. As they progress and you start adding kicks into their repertoire and in sparring sessions, you start to consider other protective equipment including shin pads, footpads, and elbow pads. Pads give your kids confidence in throwing and blocking strikes. When working with kicks during sparring at a minimum I wear shin pads myself to soften the impact when they throw strikes.
What gloves to get your kids for sparring?
I first bought my kids a small pair of cheap boxing gloves that I found on Amazon. The type I bought is 4oz Cheerwing kids boxing gloves. These are very small gloves that are easy to wear and take off for young kids. I bought them when my son was 5 and had no problem using them. I thought that these would be like toy boxing gloves and would not last long or be capable of use with sparring but surprisingly have lasted for a long time. As your kids grow and punch harder you will want to upgrade the size and material of the gloves.
As your kids grow you’ll want to get bigger gloves. The exact size will depend on how big your kid’s hands are and how hard they punch. Generally speaking, 4oz is good for toddlers and children up to the age of 7. From 8-14, you can start looking at 6oz and 8oz gloves.
What size gloves should you spar your kids with?
Boxing gloves usually have a range of 10oz up to 20oz. Most people spar with 16oz gloves and that is the size of gloves that I use when sparring with my kids. In general, the larger the glove, the more padding and less damage the glove will have. When sparring with my kids though it doesn’t matter as all punches are pulled and there is no force behind any of my shots. I use 16oz as that is my go-to for sparring adults and for working out on the heavy bag on my own.
Setting ground rules for beginner kids sparring
To begin sparring, I like to sit my kids down and establish a few ground rules for them to strive to follow while we practice sparring. Here are some of the points we discuss regularly:
We have a good discussion about self-defense and the techniques we practice should only be used in the self-defense of themselves or victims of violence. I also reinforce that techniques should not be used on one another in fits of anger.
- Only techniques that they’ve been taught are to be used. Especially no wild haymakers or slapping techniques.
- Always protect themselves, especially with their hands up and their elbow tucked in.
- At any point, they want to stop a round they may and must speak up.
- At the beginning of each round, we always bow to each other than touch gloves. After the round, we slap gloves again.
How to spar with your kids
When conducting the actual sparring, I like to do 6 rounds to start. The rounds last about 2 minutes. The first round is just the kids punching with me defending. The second round is both of us just punching. The third round is just the kids kicking. The fourth round is both of us kicking. And the fifth and sixth round is full kickboxing.
First round: kids punching only.
For this round, the kids do the punching and I will do blocking and parrying with no punching back. I will start by coaching my kids to make sure they are working on good technique by throwing only jabs, crosses, and hooks. I also emphasize making sure they are fighting in a solid orthodox stance moving correctly around the mat/ring. I’ll start the round out very light and slow allowing the kids to land shots at will. After about a minute or so I’ll get more aggressive in movement forcing them to move forward and work to close distance for clean shots. Movement, bobbing and weaving, and parrying are all techniques that can be used by the parent coach in this round. The point is for the kids to work on their footwork, closing of distance, timing, and to practice their punches and what it’s like to throw a strike at another person.
Second round: both punching
For this round, both my kids and I throw only punches. Again remind your kids to work on technique and proper movement. This is also a good time to reinforce technique in high blocking with the gloves and catching body punches with the elbows and arms. Again start the first minute or so slow by moving around slowly and throwing soft tapping punches here and there. As a reminder, I never throw with any force. The point of this round and sparring, in general, is to get your kids used to punches coming their way and being able to defend. Throw soft tapping punches to assess their reaction. They should be using their arms and gloves to defend while keeping their eyes open and moving or counter-punching when the window of opportunity presents itself. As the round progresses you can step up the pace of punches and movement in the ring.
Third round: Kids kicking only
For this round, the kids are the only ones doing the kicking. At this point, I will don shin guards and when your kids get to a point where they strike hard you will want them to wear pad protection too. Before the round, reinforce proper kickboxing stance and remind them to make sure they work on their technique with each kick they throw. Start the round out slow again by moving slowly and presenting yourself as a target. At the beginning of the round, I will allow them to land kicks to legs and body without blocking them. As the round progresses pick up the pace with movement and block or check kicks that are thrown poorly or telegraphed. Movement is good too as you try to evade their kicks.
Fourth and fifth rounds: both punching and kicking, the kickboxing rounds
In these two rounds, your kids get to put everything together and practice full-on kickboxing. Movement is key here with again very light tapping punches and kicks being thrown by me. Reinforce defense stance and emotional control. Don’t let your kids get overwhelmed or out of control. Again, start slow and pick the pace towards the middle of the round. After each of these last two rounds I always give kudos to my kids and let them know what they did well and 1 pointer that I picked up during the round.
Final thoughts on sparring with my kids
Overall it’s been a joy to spar with my kids and watch their confidence and striking skill grow over time. In a few short months, they’ve gone from not knowing how to throw a proper punch to full kickboxing sparring with a nice arsenal of foundational kicks and punches. What began as fear and timidness blossomed into sheer confidence in defending themselves and striking back. Always remember to go very light when sparring with kids and consider not throwing headshots as I do. The point here at a young age is to get the basics down and build confidence and skill. Always congratulate your kids on a good round and point out as many of the positive things you can. After a few sessions of sparring with dad, my kids began to like sparring and practicing their techniques which I’m sure will be a useful skill for them for the rest of their lives.